Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your . . . Tail?

Once upon A Time, there was a Young Lady who was bamboozled by an Ugly Ass Witch, whilst minding her own business; innocently frolicking about The Fairy Forrest (you know The One, it’s about a mile south of The Walmart next to The Interstate Exit) partaking of Beauties revealed by means of the Gracious Summer Sun, alone. The Young Lady was naively lured into the Ugly Ass Witch’s trap by an enchanting display of Beauties False, and she was snatched up and locked away in the Ugly Ass Witch’s highest tower, deep in heart of the forrest; dense and dark . . .