i believe the greatest weight we have as human beings is an eternal recurrence; a constant responsibility to creatively reconcile what returns to us each moment: difference. a natural striving for harmony – a striving for necessary measure, stable and unchanging – so that we may meaningfully keep time with our wild and, at times, hostile environs, however, might would lead a one, isolated individual who is only capable of seeing the world, and themselves within it, from a fixed perspective, to erroneously believe that a particular moment (however broadly defined) comes back again and again, with no variation – why? why me? to what end? the original weight of responsibility is then dispensed with in order to undertake an even heavier, pernicious and unnecessary weight – one which leads to helpless nihilism: a void wherein an individual’s creativity is trapped, hiding in the same moment and unable to make sense for itself. agency is denied and negated, here. for the world as it is given, under the particular solipsism in mind, is experientially given as it is, as it were, without question. alongside this atrophy of will, the logical faculty of intellect, too, suffers and rots. for without other moments how would one be able to delineate the perceived eternally recurring moment as something which returns, distinct from that which doesn’t return? i believe, though, that these ills can be overcome if one shares one’s self-concocted “stable” method and measure with another. when one becomes two (or more) y’all may come to a common time-keep through such relations: a polyrhythmic timing which has the strength to carry the weight of reconciling difference, so that the original burden is slightly lifted. the edge thusly alleviated, though not escaped, we’re free to create higher meaning beyond that which just barely gets us by until death. through love and empathy [both emotional empathy and “rational” empathy (i.e., pure harmony/ratio)] we come to better define what distinguishes one moment from others; what distinguishes our life-moments from others’, and we create for ourselves a home; a community of different individuals which expresses and re-presents our original confusion and overcoming within a flux of varied worldly-experience. dear music, these pills have me stuck in bed, alone and writing things that make no sense. please bring me back to strength so that i can return to a world where my perspective may partake of authentic measure. i want to create something of substance. i want to weigh my life account on the scales of common ratios, so that the burden of givenness doesn’t become one-sided and top heavy (before it squishes my common sense for “good”). fuel me so that i may overcome physical illness, as well as the spiritual ills which egg pain on and on, ad infinitum, so i may become one example among many of the unifying force which occasions from above, and beneath humanity in its fullest sense: the perspectival unit of measure to which we may all refer, and through which we may all participate in creating all sorts value and sense. fuel me so that i may reach, yet again, other fully autonomous units who are willing and able to exchange burdens with me through metaphor and song. i’m almost there. just one more push.